Thursday, December 18, 2014

Even God Believes in Fairies

In the days following Natalie learning "The Truth" about the Tooth Fairy and Santa -- I asked her if she was doing okay.

"Yeah, I'm good."


"Yeah, I found this star leaf on the playground at school.  It is magic and allows me to grant wishes."


"Look, it's snowing.  I did that."

Natalie then went on to explain how she knows all about fairies.

"You see, before I was born God was going to make me a fairy, but then you had begged Him to give you a daughter.  So, He took most of the magic out of me.  He took out the little and he took out the wings, but He left a little bit of magic in.  I'm actually a fairy girl."

"When did you learn of this?"

"The other day...I think God knew I was really sad about the Tooth Fairy not being real so that's why now I can grant wishes.


Yeah, my friend Bella wished to be able to fly."

"Wow. That's a tall order."

"Tell me about it."

"Ella wants to be a Jedi with a green lightsaber...I don't know how I'm going to make a lightsaber. teacher, Mrs. Raymond, asked for it to snow up to her big toe tomorrow and for it to be sunny the next day."

"I see..."

Dear Lord:
Thank you for keeping the magic alive in my fairy girl's heart.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

He's Some Kinda Wonderful

I pride myself on being honest...but when I became a parent, I traded in some of my honesty cards in favor of developing a sense of wonder and magic with my children.

Today, the house of cards came crashing down after Natalie began grilling me about the Tooth Fairy's responses to the letter she'd left her the night before. She'd lost a molar (3rd tooth in a month) and had set out her Little Critters tiny bed with blanket along with a few Cheerios, a button and a glass bead (because everyone knows fairies love found objects...especially shiny things).  She figured her fairy was tired and hoped she might rest and enjoy a bit of refreshment before leaving our home.  In my desire, to play the role best, I went as far to figure out what my fairy name would be by using the Fairy Name Generator program.  I wrote, erased and rewrote my answers several times...not quite sure if I'd disguised my handwriting well enough...or written small enough.

My fairy name is Bindweed Goldwitch.  I chose elderberries as my favorite food and honeysuckle as my favorite color.

Initially, Natalie was thrilled to find some of the Cheerios she'd left had been eaten, the tiny bed unmade and answers to her questions...but something nagged at her and she continued to fire questions at me.  I did my best to deflect and evade, but something nagged at me, too.

She wanted the truth.

I found I could no longer lie...because the truth about little white lies is that they always need to be fed by bigger ones.

In my head, a battle waged between preserving wonder and maintaining trust with her.

When I finally conceded, she stopped, eyes wide and unblinking.

"What? mean it was you who left the glitter?...who ate the Cheerios and the berries and ...


"So...Isaac was right," she continued.


"I have no more wonder.  I'm Santa either then...wait..."

"So there's no phone number for Santa?"...

Oh, the jig was up.

I held her and cried, too.  I cried for her loss of innocence and wonder.  I mourned over the loss of watching her engage in the fine art of fairy house-building.

I had tried to break the news gently by sharing with her The Truth About Santa letter so as to preserve her love of magic.

Instead, it only made her wail more

"I guess I'll just have to be an author then!" she cried.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I was hoping to grow up to become one of Santa's elves!...but now I'll just have to be an author," she wailed.

Oh boy.  What have I done?...I've ruined my kid. And then another thought struck me -- what if she stops believing in God?...I've asked her to believe in so many things that weren't true...but God, although we've never seen him...He's different...but, what if she doesn't believe in anything I say anymore?...

Between sobs, I interjected, "But, you know God is real, right?"

"Of course I do," she responded indignantly.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized my child's sense of wonder was still very much intact.

Dear Lord:
Growing-up is so painful.  Thanks for giving me smart kids to help ease the process along.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Musings From Natalie #106


"Yes, Natalie."

"You're everything to me."

(Dear Santa:  All I want for Christmas is... the ability to freeze time.  Thanks)

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

I Won't Grow Up

Growing up is painful...more so for the parents.

My kindergarten year I noticed something...Santa wrote just like my mom. I remember feeling both sad and disappointed. I did NOT want to give up on the magic and frankly I was ticked. For years I gave my mom a hard time about how she could have done a better job of disguising her own handwriting.

My poor, Mom.

Fast-forward 37 years (ack. where does the time go?!)...I now find myself with two kids, who at 5th and 2nd grade, still believe in Santa. I'm faced with the opposite problem...

I'm dreading it.

I remember when my friend Kelley shared her experience in explaining Santa to her daughter.  She envisioned that her daughter would think of her as a sort of super hero.  But, in reality, her child's reaction was more like learning her dog had just been run over by a car.

This morning the kids created new Christmas lists.  In Natalie's first draft she listed a large, empty refrigerator box and a whoopie cushion.  Her new list includes 14 pieces of a coal and a sleigh bell.  These lists are glimpses into their sweet, innocent selves.  I'm having a hard time letting go of that.

The kids asked me to take their letters to the special silver North Pole mailbox that arrived in our town a few weeks ago.

I've decided I will wait until they come home from we can mail them out together.

It seems, I'm not ready to grow up just yet.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Deep Thoughts From Noah #55

Noah: "Mom, when you were a kid, were you in Music Makers?"

Me: "No, our school didn't offer music class."

Noah: (reflective pause) "Oh, probably because music wasn't invented yet."

Friday, November 28, 2014

We're All About That Moose...

Every Christmas our family, along with my siblings and their families, gather at my parent's house for food, fellowship and fun.  Several years ago, my mom started a tradition of having us all play bingo together for silly prizes.  Each year the loot gets a little larger and more outrageous.  But one staple we can always count on is the Moose - a candy dispenser (a flick of the tail bring a treat) and grand prize for cover all.  Later, the winner's name is etched onto a plate and fixed to the moose.  However, since my sister moved to Colorado, it has been a few years since we've all been together.  This year her family joined us for Thanksgiving.  The kids really had a great time hanging out and playing together, but it wasn't a turkey that held the spotlight...

So much so...I decided to express it in song by creating a parody of Meghan Trainor's hit "All About That Bass"

Because you know we're all about that moose,
'Bout that moose, no turkey
We're all 'bout that moose, 'bout that moose, no turkey
We're all 'bout that moose, 'bout that moose, no turkey
We're all 'bout that moose, 'bout that moose
Yeah it's pretty clear, we ain't no chess pros
But gram can call it, call it like she's supposed to do
'Cause she's got that spin spin that all of us chase
All the right primes in all the called spaces
We see the wound-up-kids eyein' that pile of loot
We know that stuff ain't great
Come on now, call it out
If you got bingo bingo just raise 'em up
'Cause every card you play may win you
A stuffed Webkin or a top
Yeah, now gramma she told us don't worry about your card
She says, hey I got a lot'a more prizes just hold on tight
You know Grif wants the toy Thor-figure, Olivia candy bars,
Jack, if that's what you're into
Then go ahead put it on
Because you know We're all about that moose,
'Bout that moose, no turkey
We're all 'bout that moose, 'bout that moose, no turkey
We're all 'bout that moose, 'bout that moose, no turkey
We're all 'bout that moose, 'bout that moose
We're bringing moosey back... 

every year.

Steve won a batch of Brian's "apple pie" moonshine.

Hayden tries on his prize for size.
Happy girl
Brian - holds his excitement in.
Jack won a Browning Christmas stocking but decided it made a better hat.
Jack and his booty.

Griffin won -- he'll be taking his prize back to CO., but he'll
be bringing moosey back next year.

Thanks for the inspiration, Meghan

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

There's No Place Like St. Louis

Yesterday while T.V. stations across the planet looped footage of protesters hurling bricks, looting businesses and blowing up cars in historic Ferguson...a St. Louis suburb located just 15 miles from our home -- our T.V.s remained off.  We refused to give those who have chosen to take advantage of a town hurting, our attention. However, our hearts are open and prayers focused on families and business owners forced to wade through the chaos. 

Instead, Steve and I decided it was time to introduce the kids to The Wizard of Oz.  As we sat squashed on the couch together, I waited for them to flinch when the creepy flying monkeys appeared.  As I did, I realized how incredibly unfair it was the scariest thing my kids would experience that evening would be watching a group of soaring mutant primates; while families living across town were devising safety plans for completing every day tasks like buying groceries.

It's not fair.

While I've traveled to Europe and worked in the Caribbean for a spin, I've lived in St. Louis nearly my whole life and have always been proud to call the Gateway to the West -- home.  However, the media's near constant focus on those set on destroying not only tarnishing our city's reputation, it's doing little to nothing to help bring positive change and support to those who need it most.

It's not fair.

I'm a Christian, a wife, a mother, but mostly I'm just an imperfect human -- trying to raise a family in a broken world.  While I'm not sure how to fix some of the problems that lead us to this very dark place, I believe compassion and love are a good place to start.
Recently, I was asked to participate in a grassroots initiative started by a local vlogger, called We are StL.  The purpose being to promote all that is good about St. Louis.

I don't know where to begin. There are so many things to highlight. Whether it's enjoying our unique dishes: toasted ravioli, cracker crust-provel-laden pizzas, gooey butter cakes, Ted Drewe's frozen custard concretes or the numerous educational and cultural experiences available (many of which are free).  Below are links to adventures our family has enjoyed in and around St. Louis. After reading I'm sure you'll agree -- there's no place like St. Louis.

I wish I could click my heels three times and bring us all to a better place of understanding to heal our communities, divided.  We ask for your prayers and support by sharing your favorite things about St. Louis at #WeAreStL or by linking your blog and vlog posts using the linky tool below.

American Kennel Club Museum of the Dog
Audubon Center at Riverlands
Challenger Learning Center
City Museum
Daniel Boone Home & Heritage Center
DesPeres Park Youth Fishing Derby
Dr. Edmund A. Babler Memorial State Park and Visitor's Center
Doris I. Schnuck Children's Garden

Fair St. Louis
Forest Park Forever Playground
Grant's Farm
Kemp Auto Museum
Laumier Sculpture Park
Magic House 
Mastadon State Historic Site

Missouri Botanical Gardens
Missouri History Museum and History Clubhouse for kids
Museum of Transportation 
National Great Rivers Museum and the Melvin Price Locks and Dam
Powder Valley Conservation Nature Center
Purina Farms
and  Blue Grass Festival and Kids' Carnival
St. Louis Art Museum
St. Louis Science Center
St. Louis Zoo and special exhibits - Caribbean Cove  Sea Lion Sound
Sophia M. Sachs Butterfly House
World Bird Sanctuary  and  National Trails Day