It's What Makes My Man Tick

On Sunday I awoke to find a note in the kitchen from Steve explaining that he'd gone out to walk in the woods. He said he was scouting for turkey, but I think he was just in need of some breathing room.  While others reduce stress by hopping on a treadmill or meeting up with friends at a noisy club, Steve prefers solitude among the trees.  He grew up in a small town an hour outside Pittsburgh, called Scio (pronounced Sigh-O) Ohio where opening day for deer season is treated as a holiday and trapping provides supplemental income for many families.

After reading his note I craned my neck towards the front door and sighed when I noticed his new athletic shoes missing.  Dang it!  Why didn't he choose to wear one of his grubby pair instead? With his size 13, quadruple E width Fred Flintstone feet, finding shoes is never easy or cheap!  I said a little prayer that he walks where it's dry.

About 9:30 a.m. I received a call from him telling me he was on his way back home.

While eyeing more than three bottles of insect repellent in our linen closet I asked, "Did you by chance put on any bug spray?"

"No,  I forgot," he admitted.

"Seriously, what am I going to do with you?" I asked.

"Just love me is all," he replied.

"I love you, but not the bugs and ticks I'm certain have hitched a ride on your pant leg," I retorted.

Naturally, when Steve arrived home he showed me that his slacks had seed ticks all over them.  I made him undress in the basement and had him bag up his clothes before coming upstairs to shower. Though part of our wedding ceremony was in Hawaiian, I'm pretty sure our vows did not include "with ticks or without".  While wearing only a pair of boxers, he passed me on his way to the bathroom and slyly asked, "Wanna check me for ticks?  Or, I could check you?"

I believe what they say is true -- You can take the man out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the man...especially when he consistently forgets to wear insect repellent!

Brad Paisley performing his song, "Ticks"