Christmas Wrap Up 2014

Sometimes life gives you lemons, but with a little creativity and luck, you are able to make lemonade.

On December 18th, our family was dealt a whole truckload, when we learned of the passing of my cousin's sweet baby, Georgia Grace.  Just 7 months old, she was all sugar with just a hint of spice.

Creativity would be of no use...what we needed was a platonium-powered Delorean.

For days afterward, I walked around in a fog, half-listening to my kids as my thoughts and prayers remained focused on my cousin and her family.  I tried to put myself in her shoes, but found I couldn't even wriggle a baby toe's worth of understanding.  There is just no pain to compare with the depth of heartache associated with losing a child...and there really are no words one can say to take away the pain or speed up the healing process.  Bottomline: there will always be a Georgia-shaped hole on our hearts. I will continue to pray for God's healing grace to help her family find a way to carry on without her.

Steve and I didn't finish with our elf duties until nearly 1 a.m. Christmas morning.  My sleep was fitful as I imagined my cousin's family and others like her separated from loved ones...whether by miles, discourse or death -- this holiday season.  Never was I so grateful to receive a courtesy wake up call from my children.  And, while I loved the new perfume from Steve and the scarf and gloves from the kids -- the best gift I received was good health and togetherness with my family.

After all the gifts had been opened, Steve fixed us french toast that would rival any served in a fine hotel.  The recipe calls for frying and then baking the concoction in the oven.  He called it a souffle as the egg-soaked bread more than doubled in height as it baked.  Afterwards we headed over to my parent's house to share the day with extended family.  We noshed on a smorgasbord of family favorites including roast beef, deviled eggs and Steve's famous blackberry cobbler.  Later we opened gifts and played a game of Rob Your Neighbor then listened to Steve entertain us with a bunch of old country songs from Hank Williams, Hank Thompson, and Jimmy Rodgers.

The next day we began packing for our trip to see Steve's family in Scio, (Sigh-O) Ohio -- an inaugural visit for the kids.  The last time I had made the nearly 1,200 mile round trip journey was more than 11 years ago when I was pregnant with Noah.

Needless to say, we were overdue. 

The week we spent in Ohio was both restful and rejuvenating.  My MIL made me my very own cherry pie and encouraged me not to share. My FIL introduced me to "fresh side" - bacon that is covered in flour and fried.  It's good, but a better name for it might be "fresh side of heart attack".  I read decadent books by Alice Hoffman.  I slowed down and days passed with little effort. Every afternoon family dropped in to say hello and join us for lunch or dinner.  Never in my life have I eaten so much red meat or mashed potatoes.  We had meatballs as big as baseballs and spare ribs that would rival those favored by Fred Flintstone.  One morning Steve had the opportunity to reconnect with his nephews with an impromptu rabbit hunting excursion.  Another afternoon, he spent a few hours giving Noah a private tour of the woods and "crick" he used to frequent as a boy. One of my favorite times was spent  perusing old photo albums and listening to stories of his childhood.  His name may be Steve...but there was a time when he answered to "Steven the Heathen".

We're already making plans for another visit because time waits for no one.  The greatest gift I can give my kids is fond memories.

Love at first BEEP.

Natalie wrapped up love.

Don't let that face fool you.  Coal was one of her favorite gifts.

Grandma Mary and Jack

Mom and Alicia compare chocolates.

All around the water tank waiting for a train....

cousins - Ella and Ethan

cousins - Natalie and Jack

1st, 2nd and all around good cousins

Rise n' shine and ready to hit the road

We stayed overnight in Springfield, OH.  The kids were never so happy to be out of the car and in a pool.

Too tired to leave our hotel room, we made due with peanut butter sandwiches...though Steve 'elfed" his up by adding both potato chips and toffee butterscotch popcorn.

Like Father, Like Son.

Two Little Monkeys...

In Scio, Noah learns to shoot...cans.

The view from my in-laws backyard.

My MIL Connie and SIL, Joanne wanted to be sure that Natalie wasn't bored at the house.  They brought home an empty refrigerator box.  She and I spent the week dressing it up with decorations, lights and even a doggie door.

Grandma Connie and Natalie

Sibling Shenanigans

Twins.

Natalie LOVED getting to know grandma's dog - Howie.

New Year's Eve we celebrated Grandma Connie's birthday.

We made homemade ice cream...twice in one week.
Joanne, Matt and Heather

The Whole Gang

Deep Thoughts From Noah #56

Natalie: "Mom, did you know every family has their own smell?"
Me: "Yes, I believe you are correct."
Natalie: "What does our family smell like?"
Noah: (quickly interjects) "Victory!"

Even God Believes in Fairies

In the days following Natalie learning "The Truth" about the Tooth Fairy and Santa -- I asked her if she was doing okay.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I found this star leaf on the playground at school.  It is magic and allows me to grant wishes."
"Hmmm..."
"Look, it's snowing.  I did that."
Natalie then went on to explain how she knows all about fairies.
"You see, before I was born God was going to make me a fairy, but then you had begged Him to give you a daughter.  So, He took most of the magic out of me.  He took out the little and he took out the wings, but He left a little bit of magic in.  I'm actually a fairy girl."
"When did you learn of this?"
"The other day...I think God knew I was really sad about the Tooth Fairy not being real so that's why now I can grant wishes.
"Really."
Yeah, my friend Bella wished to be able to fly."
"Wow. That's a tall order."
"Tell me about it."
"Ella wants to be a Jedi with a green light saber...I don't know how I'm going to make a light saber. And...my teacher, Mrs. Raymond, asked for it to snow up to her big toe tomorrow and for it to be sunny the next day."
"I see..."
Dear Lord:
Thank you for keeping the magic alive in my fairy girl's heart.

He's Some Kinda Wonderful

I pride myself on being honest...but when I became a parent, I traded in some of my honesty cards in favor of developing a sense of wonder and magic with my children.

Today, the house of cards came crashing down after Natalie began grilling me about the Tooth Fairy's responses to the letter she'd left her the night before. She'd lost a molar (3rd tooth in a month) and had set out her Little Critters tiny bed with blanket along with a few Cheerios, a button and a glass bead (because everyone knows fairies love found objects...especially shiny things).  She figured her fairy was tired and hoped she might rest and enjoy a bit of refreshment before leaving our home.  In my desire, to play the role best, I went as far to figure out what my fairy name would be by using the Fairy Name Generator program.  I wrote, erased and rewrote my answers several times...not quite sure if I'd disguised my handwriting well enough...or written small enough.

My fairy name is Bindweed Goldwitch.  I chose elderberries as my favorite food and honeysuckle as my favorite color.

Initially, Natalie was thrilled to find some of the Cheerios she'd left had been eaten, the tiny bed unmade and answers to her questions...but something nagged at her and she continued to fire questions at me.  I did my best to deflect and evade, but something nagged at me, too. She wanted the truth. I found I could no longer lie...because the truth about little white lies is that they always need to be fed by bigger ones. In my head, a battle waged between preserving wonder and maintaining trust with her.When I finally conceded, she stopped, eyes wide and unblinking.

"What?...you mean it was you who left the glitter?...who ate the Cheerios and the berries and ...
TEARS
"So...Isaac was right," she continued.
TEARS
"I have no more wonder.  I'm heartbroken...no Santa either then...wait..."
"So there's no phone number for Santa?"...
Oh, the jig was up.

I held her and cried, too.  I cried for her loss of innocence and wonder.  I mourned over the loss of watching her engage in the fine art of fairy house-building. I had tried to break the news gently by sharing with her The Truth About Santa letter so as to preserve her love of magic. Instead, it only made her wail more

"I guess I'll just have to be an author then!" she cried.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I was hoping to grow up to become one of Santa's elves!...but now I'll just have to be an author," she explained.
Oh boy.  What have I done?...I've ruined my kid. And then another thought struck me -- what if she stops believing in God?...I've asked her to believe in so many things that weren't true...but God, although we've never seen him...He's different...but, what if she doesn't believe in anything I say anymore?...
Between sobs, I interjected, "But, you know God is real, right?"
"Of course I do," she responded indignantly.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized my child's sense of wonder was still very much intact.

Dear Lord:
Growing-up is so painful.  Thanks for giving me smart kids to help ease the process along.

Musings From Natalie #106

"Mom..."
"Yes, Natalie."
"You're everything to me."
(Dear Santa:  All I want for Christmas is... the ability to freeze time.  Thanks)

I Won't Grow Up

Growing up is painful...more so for the parents.

My kindergarten year I noticed something...Santa wrote just like my mom. I remember feeling both sad and disappointed. I did NOT want to give up on the magic and frankly I was ticked. For years I gave my mom a hard time about how she could have done a better job of disguising her own handwriting.

My poor, Mom.

Fast-forward 37 years (ack. where does the time go?!)...I now find myself with two kids, who at 5th and 2nd grade, still believe in Santa. I'm faced with the opposite problem...

I'm dreading it.

I remember when my friend Kelley shared her experience in explaining Santa to her daughter.  She envisioned that her daughter would think of her as a sort of super hero.  But, in reality, her child's reaction was more like learning her dog had just been run over by a car.

This morning the kids created new Christmas lists.  In Natalie's first draft she listed a large, empty refrigerator box and a whoopie cushion.  Her new list includes 14 pieces of a coal and a sleigh bell.  These lists are glimpses into their sweet, innocent selves.  I'm having a hard time letting go of that.

The kids asked me to take their letters to the special silver North Pole mailbox that arrived in our town a few weeks ago.

I've decided I will wait until they come home from school...so we can mail them out together.

It seems, I'm not ready to grow up just yet.

Deep Thoughts From Noah #55

Noah: "Mom, when you were a kid, were you in Music Makers?"
Me: "No, our school didn't offer music class."
Noah: (reflective pause) "Oh, probably because music wasn't invented yet."