Even God Believes in Fairies

In the days following Natalie learning "The Truth" about the Tooth Fairy and Santa -- I asked her if she was doing okay.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I found this star leaf on the playground at school.  It is magic and allows me to grant wishes."
"Hmmm..."
"Look, it's snowing.  I did that."
Natalie then went on to explain how she knows all about fairies.
"You see, before I was born God was going to make me a fairy, but then you had begged Him to give you a daughter.  So, He took most of the magic out of me.  He took out the little and he took out the wings, but He left a little bit of magic in.  I'm actually a fairy girl."
"When did you learn of this?"
"The other day...I think God knew I was really sad about the Tooth Fairy not being real so that's why now I can grant wishes.
"Really."
Yeah, my friend Bella wished to be able to fly."
"Wow. That's a tall order."
"Tell me about it."
"Ella wants to be a Jedi with a green light saber...I don't know how I'm going to make a light saber. And...my teacher, Mrs. Raymond, asked for it to snow up to her big toe tomorrow and for it to be sunny the next day."
"I see..."
Dear Lord:
Thank you for keeping the magic alive in my fairy girl's heart.

He's Some Kinda Wonderful

I pride myself on being honest...but when I became a parent, I traded in some of my honesty cards in favor of developing a sense of wonder and magic with my children.

Today, the house of cards came crashing down after Natalie began grilling me about the Tooth Fairy's responses to the letter she'd left her the night before. She'd lost a molar (3rd tooth in a month) and had set out her Little Critters tiny bed with blanket along with a few Cheerios, a button and a glass bead (because everyone knows fairies love found objects...especially shiny things).  She figured her fairy was tired and hoped she might rest and enjoy a bit of refreshment before leaving our home.  In my desire, to play the role best, I went as far to figure out what my fairy name would be by using the Fairy Name Generator program.  I wrote, erased and rewrote my answers several times...not quite sure if I'd disguised my handwriting well enough...or written small enough.

My fairy name is Bindweed Goldwitch.  I chose elderberries as my favorite food and honeysuckle as my favorite color.

Initially, Natalie was thrilled to find some of the Cheerios she'd left had been eaten, the tiny bed unmade and answers to her questions...but something nagged at her and she continued to fire questions at me.  I did my best to deflect and evade, but something nagged at me, too. She wanted the truth. I found I could no longer lie...because the truth about little white lies is that they always need to be fed by bigger ones. In my head, a battle waged between preserving wonder and maintaining trust with her.When I finally conceded, she stopped, eyes wide and unblinking.

"What?...you mean it was you who left the glitter?...who ate the Cheerios and the berries and ...
TEARS
"So...Isaac was right," she continued.
TEARS
"I have no more wonder.  I'm heartbroken...no Santa either then...wait..."
"So there's no phone number for Santa?"...
Oh, the jig was up.

I held her and cried, too.  I cried for her loss of innocence and wonder.  I mourned over the loss of watching her engage in the fine art of fairy house-building. I had tried to break the news gently by sharing with her The Truth About Santa letter so as to preserve her love of magic. Instead, it only made her wail more

"I guess I'll just have to be an author then!" she cried.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I was hoping to grow up to become one of Santa's elves!...but now I'll just have to be an author," she explained.
Oh boy.  What have I done?...I've ruined my kid. And then another thought struck me -- what if she stops believing in God?...I've asked her to believe in so many things that weren't true...but God, although we've never seen him...He's different...but, what if she doesn't believe in anything I say anymore?...
Between sobs, I interjected, "But, you know God is real, right?"
"Of course I do," she responded indignantly.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized my child's sense of wonder was still very much intact.

Dear Lord:
Growing-up is so painful.  Thanks for giving me smart kids to help ease the process along.

Musings from Natalie #3

After several visits to the Missouri Botanical Garden's Plants and People Interactive China Exhibit:

Natalie: "Mom, I think I'm ready to try that Chinese pretend food now."

Me: "Honey, the food is made of felt.  You can't eat it."

Natalie: "No, I'm ready for you to make a recipe with Chinese food.  I think I'm used to it now." (Hmmm....maybe I should create felt versions of all my dishes she won't eat)

Natalie playing in the pretend Chinese kitchen complete with felt food at the MO. Botanical Gardens

"To enter you have to say the password," said Noah.

"Noah is so handsome," she retorted.
Well, if she doesn't choose a career in acting...
there's always politics.

"Hey Mom!  Listen to this!  I just crunched the song, The Wheels on the Bus!" exclaimed Natalie while she ate her lunch.  
(Amazing!  I'm calling up America's Got Talent right this minute!)

Natalie: "Mom!  You aren't playing with me."

Me: "Natalie, I'm trying to play with you, but it's not so much me playing, as you directing, and me watching you play."

Natalie: "Yeah, but you're OK with that, right?"

Natalie: "Mom!  Watch carefully for my next trick. Ok, close your eyes," she commanded.
Me: "Wait a minute.  You just told me to watch carefully.  How can I watch carefully with my eyes closed?"
Natalie: "Ok, so don't watch so carefully...now close your eyes and you will be AMAZED!"

Natalie insisted on going to bed with her coon cap on.  Night Night  Queen Crockett