Musings From Natalie #94

Natalie: "Mom, can you come with me to college?"
Me: "Sure, I'll help you get settled in."
Natalie: "I wish you could be my roommate."
Me: "Hmm...I'm not sure how that would work."
Natalie: "But I won't see you for 4 years!"
Me: "You'll come home to visit."
Natalie: "Okay! I'll come home every afternoon, but I won't be able to see you in the mornings because I'll be working."

Musings From Natalie #56

At 3 a.m:
Natalie: "Mahhhm, I had a bad dream."
Me: "Alright...I'll come sleep with you."
 (dang you Scooby Doo...)

At 7 a.m:
Natalie: "Mom! I can't believe I slept all night without the nightlight!"
Me: "Do you think it could have been because I spent half the night in your bed with you?"
Natalie: "I had the best dream...about WORMS!  I dreamed about baby worms hatching from eggs.  The eggs had these little pink stripes on them and..."

Musings From Natalie #55

Me: "Natalie, please put your feet down at the table and sit like a lady."
Natalie: "Aww, Mom.  Being a lady is no fun...they don't even get to splash in mud puddles or be funny and tell jokes.  Being a lady is sooo boring!"

Musings From Natalie #54

Natalie: "Mom, I am so proud of cows."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Natalie: "Their milk is just so delicious!"


Natalie: "Mom, are we related."
Me: "Yes."
Natalie: "Are you and Dad related."
Me: "No."
Natalie: "You aren't?...but you're married and you kiss a lot."
(Hmm...rapture, relish, regard, respect...but not related)

Musings from Natalie #53

Natalie: "Mom, do you grow blueberries?"
Me: "Yes.  They are a plant."
Natalie: "Then how do you get macaroni?"

Natalie: "Mom, how many days will I be alive?"
Me: "Hopefully more than I can count."

Natalie: "I'm so glad I chose you to be my mom."
Me: (Speechless)

Musings From Natalie #52

Natalie: "Mom, can I play on the iPad?"
Me: "No. Go play and use that great imagination of yours."
Natalie: "I can't because I already deleted it."

Musings From Natalie #51

Convo with Natalie after VBS camp:
Natalie: "Mom, my camp counselor is a teenage boy...just like last summer."
Me: "ummhmm."
Natalie: "I can't remember his name so I decided to call him Smokey Pants...he said that was ok."
(Dear God: I'm going to need more than one village for this one.)

Musings From Natalie #50

Convo with Natalie as we head into the building for her first day of vacation bible school camp:
Natalie: "Mom, do you think everyone is nervous today?  Because I have caterpillars in my stomach that are getting ready to turn into butterflies."
Me: "I'm sure everyone is a little nervous and excited.  You are going to have a GREAT time!"
Natalie: "What do they do there?...give you foot massages?"
Me: "Foot massages?  Where did you get that idea?"
Natalie: "You said it's called vee-cation camp."
(Sigh...I think I need one.)

Musings from Natalie #25

Natalie: "Mom, when am I going to get a baby in my belly?"
Me: "Not for a long, long, long, long time. You have to be married, too."
Natalie: "Mom, do dogs have to get married?"


Pointing to a loaf of Great Harvest cinnamon bread Natalie asked, "Can I have more of that magical bread?"



Natalie: "Mom, can I have a Dum Dum sucker?"
Me: "Sure."
Natalie: "Mom, I think I have a habit."



"Mom, find me a smokin' girl song," she asked.
Here's her defintion.

Musings from Natalie #24

"Mom, I have too many friends.  I'm going to give some of them to Noah," shared Natalie.



Natalie: "Mom, how old is Ainsley?"
Me: "She is 5."
Natalie: "But, why is she taller than me?  I'm almost 6.  That doesn't make any sense."



"I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight -- I wish that everyone was happy with what they had and that all kids' wishes came true and that trees would walk and talk and sing and dance," whispered Natalie from the backseat.


Natalie: "Mom, can I have another piece of candy because I didn't like those candy sticks at all."
Me: "Why did you eat all of them if you didn't like them?"
Natalie: "Well, I didn't want to be wasteful."

Musings From Natalie #23

"I think God is my great, great, great, great, great, great, great Daddy," said Natalie


Natalie: "Mom, why is that lady just standing there?"
Me: "She's waiting for the bus."
Natalie: "Why doesn't she drive?"
Me: "Probably because she can't afford to buy a car and put gas in it."
Natalie: "Why don't we just stop and pick her up and take her to her house?"


Me: "Tuesday you guys are off school because it's election day."
Natalie: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It means everyone will be voting for the next president -- either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney."
Natalie: "MITT ROMNEY! MITT ROMNEY!!"
Me: "Have you been talking to your Dad?"
Natalie: "Nope...I just like RAM-en noodles!"

Musings from Natalie #15

Natalie: "I really want a boyfriend."
Me: "Why?"
Natalie: "So I can have someone to hang out with."
Me: "You have LOTS of girlfriends you can hang out with."
Natalie: "Yeah, but I want someone I can hang out with who is handsome, cute and adorable."
(Dear God: Please send help)


Me: "No cavities! You guys did great!"
Natalie: "Awww...I like cavities.  I wanted to get one."
Me: "You do NOT want cavities.  They cost me $150 and then they have to drill a big hole in your mouth.  Not fun."
Natalie: "Yeah, but when you get a cavity they give you a helium balloon afterwards."
Me: "I'll get you a balloon."


Me: "Natalie! For the 3rd time, turn turn off the T.V.  It's time to take Noah to school."
Natalie: "Oh, sorry Mom.  I thought you said keep watching the T.V."
(Sigh...I have no doubt you did.)

Musings from Natalie #14

Natalie: "Am I the best daughter in the world?"
Me: "Of course."
Natalie: "After lunch can I have a brownie?"
Me: "Yes."
Natalie: "Mom, since I'm the best daughter in the world, can I have two brownies?"


The Itchy Monster
by Natalie

Once there was a little monster.  There were fleas all over him nibbling on his hair and on his knees.  He itched and itched until he itched the fleas away. 

“Ahhhh!” said the little monster.  

He itched some more until his hair came off. There was a big pile of hair and he didn’t know what to do.  As the pile of hair got bigger it started to shake and shake and shake.  Then it grew legs and red eyes and a nose and arms and big ears.  This scared the little monster and he ran away and never returned.

The End



I think Steve was a little proud when I told him Natalie heard this song on the radio and thought it was a "smokin song".

Musings from Natalie #13

Natalie: "I think Santa and God must be brothers."
Me: "Why is that?"
Natalie: "Because they can always see me."


Natalie: "Mom, did you know kids spend more time on electronics than exploring?"
Me: "Where did you learn that?"
Natalie: "I heard about it on T.V."


"I'm not being a pill...I'm just crabby." explained Natalie.


"I don't like LEGOS...they're too buildish.  I like dolls that are pretty with eye shadow," said Natalie.

Musings from Natalie #12

Natalie: "Do you know what my favorite part about church is?"
Me: "What?"
Natalie: "The snacks!...I guess I'm just a food person."


Me: "I've got an idea.  Why don't we go to Laumier Sculpture Park tomorrow."
Natalie: "No!  I hate looking at sculptures.  Every time when we go someplace that has sculptures, there are always naked people.  That's just disgusting!  I mean really?  Who wants to see naked butts! Gross!"

Musings from Natalie #8

Overhead while Noah and Natalie were playing restaurant with Nat's play kitchen:

"I'll be the cook," said Noah.
"No, I'll be the cook.  You be the dishwasher," instructed Natalie
"I don't want to be the dishwasher," said Noah.
"But, the dishwasher is a VERY important job!" promised Natalie.
"Fine." surrendered Noah


"Mom, is that a sausage dog?" asked Natalie while pointing to a dachshund.


Me: "Are you having fun with Grandma?"
Natalie: "I'm having buckets of fun...100 BUCKETS!"

(Hmmm...was this before or after Grandma bought you a Monster High doll?)

Musings from Natalie #7

Me: "You are going to Noah's award ceremony tonight."
Natalie: "No, I'm not."
Me: "Yes, you are."
Natalie: "No, I'm not going.  I'm staying home."
Me: "Yes, you are going.  Do not talk back to me again."
Natalie: "Well, I was just trying to stand up for myself."


Noah: "My favorite radio station is Fresh 102.5. What's your favorite, Natalie?"
Natalie: "I like Jagger."
Noah: "No!  That's a song.  What's your favorite STATION?" .
Natalie: "I LIKE JAGGER!"
(They continued this ping pong convo until Noah had a heiny and I rationalized that it's got to be 5 o'clock somewhere.)


This week's "smokin' girl song comes from Gwen Stefani, "The Sweet Escape"

Musings from Natalie #6

Natalie burst into Noah's room yelling, "ROAR!," while wearing the mask she made at camp. 

"Hi, Natalie," Noah responded nonchalantly then returned his attention back to his LEGO's.

Disappointed, she asked, "How'd you know it was me?"

 

Natalie: "I had a plan last night, but it didn't work out so well."
Me: "Really?  What was your plan?"
Natalie: "Not to talk for a week."

"Noah is so cozy," she said.

Steve: "Natalie, if it starts thundering and lightning, the lifeguards are going to kick us out of the pool."
Natalie: "Will it hurt?"


Natalie: "Mom, all the counselors at camp call me cutie...I don't like it.  I want to be Monster High and that's not cute."
Me: "What does it mean to be Monster High...scary?"
Natalie: "Scary awesome."

(Note to self: No longer refer to Natalie as Tigerlily, Sugar or Cutie...just Scary Awesome.)

Musings from Natalie #5

Me: "Natalie! Come on!  We have to go!"  

Natalie: "Sorry, Mom.  I'm coming.  I was just talking to the flowers and telling 

them that it will probably rain someday."
 

Me: "Yes, Natalie.  I will watch you during your gymnastics class."

Natalie: "Ok, so wherever I walk, you move your eyes."

(Yes, Queen of Quite-a-lot...I promise.)

 

Me: "Natalie, I know you are not a patient person, but I need you to 

wait a minute."

Natalie: "Yeah, I'm a right-now-person."

This week's "smokin' song" per Natalie.  "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac

Musings from Natalie #4

A few months ago Natalie started coining the phrase, "a smokin' song".  According to her, this refers to a song being "rock 'n roll" or "cool".  This week, from the backseat I heard, "Mom, this isn't a smokin' song.  I want a smokin' girl song," declared Nat.

So, I began flipping through the stations.  When I came upon Carly Rae Jepsen's song, "Call Me Maybe," she decided it fit the bill.

I learned that she calls Teddy, her 12 year old, junior camp counselor, "Smokey Pants".
(Good grief.  I'm going to need a padded cell by the time she's a teenager.)


While swimming laps at our community pool, Natalie told Steve to slow down because, "I'm not meant for speed."


Upon getting in our steamy car I put the windows down and cranked up the A/C, however,  Natalie was soon asking me to roll the windows back up because, "the wind is blowing my Barbie's hair all over the place -- making it a mess!"


I started up the car and what came blaring from the speakers was,"I feel sexy and free!" by Jessie J. Natalie immediately asked, "Is that inappropriate?  Because I kinda like it".

Dear God: 
Please send help