Though I’m entering my 13th year as a mother, I
believe I began mothering the moment I discovered a life was growing inside me. Almost immediately, I started reading Heidi
Murkoff’s, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. Once the news of my pregnancy was out – the
floodgates of advice began pouring in from family, friends and sometimes even
strangers who wanted to weigh in on…what I should eat and how much weight I
should gain, the pros and cons of breastfeeding, co-sleeping versus letting
babies “cry it out”, the benefits of cloth diapers, which brand of baby
thermometer to trust and baby names to steer clear from. And, unlike those who mothered before me, I also
had the Internet to provide opinions from millions of “experts” across the
globe. Information is good, but
sometimes it’s just overwhelming and I think it may even play a role in the
rise in anxiety seen across our nation.
I vividly recall bursting into tears two weeks postpartum
when I realized I hadn’t yet started reading to my child.
“Have I screwed him up already?”
Thankfully my husband was close by to be my voice of reason.
But, I didn’t always listen to him and sometimes let my fears of messing up (at
mothering) get the best of me. This was
especially true when mothering my son, who has developmental delays. When he was two years old, I nearly drove him
and myself crazy when I agreed to follow a strict “sensory diet” laid out by
his occupational and speech therapists. The
plan involved swinging him twice a day for 15 minutes, therapeutic listening
for 20 minutes – twice a day, brushing and joint compressions 12 times a day, food
desensitization therapy with charting – 3 times a day and more! I believed the
experts and was afraid of what the consequences would be if I missed out on
even one thing. But, as he grew…so did
my confidence and I realized I was an expert…at being his mother.
The best piece of advice I can give to new moms and those
overwhelmed in general – listen to your gut.
Mother’s intuition is no joke.
You are your child’s best advocate.
Mom guilt is not helpful. The
only thing moms are truly guilty of is wanting the very best for their child.
