Deep Thoughts From Noah #65

 Noah: "I don't want to go to school today...the teachers are always pressuring me to do work."

Noah has started noticing that Natalie doesn't seem to struggle with her schoolwork like he does...
Noah: "It's not fair. Natalie is the smart one..."
Before I could interject...
Noah: "Hey, that means I must be the fun one -- I'm the fun one."
:-)

Take My Advice...and Leave It

Though I’m entering my 13^th year as a mother, I believe I began mothering the moment I discovered a life was growing inside me.  Almost immediately, I started reading Heidi Murkoff’s, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.  Once the news of my pregnancy was out – the floodgates of advice began pouring in from family, friends and sometimes even strangers who wanted to weigh in on…what I should eat and how much weight I should gain, the pros and cons of breastfeeding, co-sleeping versus letting babies “cry it out”, the benefits of cloth diapers, which brand of baby thermometer to trust and baby names to steer clear from.  And, unlike those who mothered before me, I also had the Internet to provide opinions from millions of “experts” across the globe.  Information is good, but sometimes it’s just overwhelming and I think it may even play a role in the rise in anxiety seen across our nation.

I vividly recall bursting into tears two weeks postpartum when I realized I hadn’t yet started reading to my child. 

“Have I screwed him up already?”

Thankfully my husband was close by to be my voice of reason. But, I didn’t always listen to him and sometimes let my fears of messing up (at mothering) get the best of me.  This was especially true when mothering my son, who has developmental delays.  When he was two years old, I nearly drove him and myself crazy when I agreed to follow a strict “sensory diet” laid out by his occupational and speech therapists.  The plan involved swinging him twice a day for 15 minutes, therapeutic listening for 20 minutes – twice a day, brushing and joint compressions 12 times a day, food desensitization therapy with charting – 3 times a day and more! I believed the experts and was afraid of what the consequences would be if I missed out on even one thing.  But, as he grew…so did my confidence and I realized I was an expert…at being his mother.  

The best piece of advice I can give to new moms and those overwhelmed in general – listen to your gut.  Mother’s intuition is no joke.  You are your child’s best advocate.  Mom guilt is not helpful.  The only thing moms are truly guilty of is wanting the very best for their child.

Deep Thoughts From Noah #64

Car ride convo today...random, but I think he has a point.

"Ice cream trucks are creepy."

Musings From Natalie #115

"Mom, it's almost time for me to go back to school...who are you going to play with when I'm not here?"

Me: Hey, Nat! Check out these cool jump ropes! Only a $1
Natalie: Mahhhm! No one plays with those!  They are from the olden days...the only kids who play with them are the Flintstones.

We went to Emmy Park and Nat was disappointed to learn that the beach where she had found loads of baby toads with her dad the week before was now under water....
Natalie: I can't believe it!  I've been waiting all week to come here and catch baby toads
Me:  We can come back when the water has receded.  We'll find more toads.
Natalie: Yeah....but I've been waiting all week and one week is like 88 weeks in kid years.

How Many Autistic Kids Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Question: How many Autistic kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer:  Zero

Why? Whether you ask one kid or a dozen kids with Autism, their first response is likely to be the same…“Why?”
This may seem like a silly response to someone with a “typical brain”…but that’s just because your brain hasn’t considered all the options like someone with an Autism brain.

For example:
Outwardly the light bulb looks the same as it did yesterday. There seems no reason to change it. On an anxiety scale of 1 to 10, people with Autism rock a Spinal Tap 11.  Any change, whether trying a new food, rearranging furniture in a room or taking a different route to school sets off the fight or flight response in them. 

If the light bulb doesn’t work…just go to another room. No matter if it is inconvenient or not even a suitable solution to a problem – someone with Autism will always prefer the path of least change. Because what if they try to change the bulb and mess up? What if they break it? Changing a light bulb could be dangerous…what if they get hurt? Better to be safe than sorry.

Anxiety over choosing a new bulb from the dozens of different watts and styles available isn’t worth it…just buy a new version of the old lamp. Making decisions, whether it’s what to eat for lunch or what to wear to school can cause panic.  What if they choose something new from the deli counter and it tastes gross? 

While the examples I’ve shared may seem funny or ridiculous, for families raising a child with autism – they are often more fact than fiction.  On August 22, 2015, Action for Autism is hosting their 7^th annual Family Fun Walk.  An organization that has supported our son’s academic and social growth by helping us send him to a special needs program each summer.  I shudder to think the regression Noah would have experienced without this support.  I realize there are lots of wonderful charities to donate your time and money to, but if you can and feel led to – please give to Action for Autism. I'm looking for 20 family and friends to donate $10.

To donate visit Action for Autism Family Fun Walk  then type FELGENHAUER in the comments section of the form. Or, email me privately to make arrangements.

Deep Thoughts From Noah #63

Me: Alright, so we need to run some errands today.
Noah: I don't want to do that.
Me: I know, but one of the things we need to do is buy a gift for your friend's birthday.
Noah: Why?
Me: Because it's expected that you bring a gift when you go to his party.
Noah: But, isn't it the thought that counts.
Me: sigh...

I Know What You Mean #23

Noah: "Mom, what's a sour crotch?"

After excusing myself for a moment to recover...

Me: "Hmmm...I think you mean sauerkraut.  Did you read about it in one of Nat's recipe books?"