Pacemaker

As much as I try to be a process person...I'm just not. I can't help but love results. I need them...to feel centered and "on track". It's so hard for me to enjoy the right now without leaping into a time table for completing a task or project. Whether it's a favored activity like drawing, baking or party planning or one that sucks the life out of me like kids' homework, laundry and dirty dishes - it doesn't matter.
Without even trying I set challenges and goals for myself.  Because time is important.  There are only so many hours in the day. This is probably why I enjoy baking so much.  Follow the recipe and you'll be rewarded for your efforts. In a previous life I worked in  marketing for a franchise called Benjamin Franklin - The Punctual Plumber.  Let's just say -- I fit right in. Then along comes Noah. My firstborn. The one who made me a Mommy. TIME MEANS NOTHING TO HIM. Actually, that's not completely true.  He gets the concept of "five minutes"...

*  We're leaving for school in five minutes.
*  Dinner will be ready in five minutes.
*  In five minutes, you need to get into the shower.

Raising a child with special needs has challenged me to honor the process. When Noah was a toddler, a mother raising her autistic teenage boy, shared that our journey would not be a sprint race... rather, a marathon. I did not like her words...but over the years I've learned to embrace them.

A few weeks ago our family participated in Action for Autism - STL 6th Annual Family Fun Walk.  Thanks to generous family and friends, our team brought in nearly $700 to fund camps, therapies and education for area children and their families affected by autism. 

Normally, the walk involves lots of cajoling and begging on our part to get Noah to complete it. However, this year we heard ZERO complaints from our freckled-face funny man.  In fact, when he finished the race, he turned to Steve and said, "Thanks for taking me, Dad."

It has certainly been a process...but dang! I love the results.

Natalie spreads her smile and wings at the event.

Noah and Natalie stand at Noah's foot marker.

Ninja Noah

We made it!

Postcards From the Peanut Gallery Wk. 3

6/9/14  I'm doing a happy dance as today marks the first day of camp!  Noah is returning to Camp Happy Day - a place that has not only served to keep him from falling behind in his schoolwork during the summer, but has encouraged him to try so many new things like climbing a 30 foot ladder and playing basketball! During the five week course, he'll receive 1 on 1 speech and language support, reading and math instruction, swimming lessons twice a week and weekly field trips. We could have never sent him to this camp without the generous support of Action for Autism. For Natalie, she is enrolled at Camp COCA for a 5 day session called "Best of Broadway. 

6/13/14  TGIF! Natalie had a wonderful experience.  At the end of each day she hugged her teacher, Ms. Boneau and told her she would miss her.  I was really impressed with the enthusiasm and professionalism of both her instructors. Janne Boneau, has been working at COCA for 15 years and holds a Masters degree in music and Jess Ruhlin, professional ballerina, painter and writer for Alive Magazine and Bodies Never Lie, holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Dance Pedagogy.  Natalie and her fellow campers enjoyed showing off the songs and dance skills they learned throughout the week.

That evening, we invited my folks to join us for Webster Groves' 10th Annual Gazebo series. For six consecutive Fridays in the summer, the events offer free live music followed by a movie. On this evening, the air was actually a bit cool. Another bonus -- no mosquitos! We brought blankets and chairs, but didn't have time to pull together a cheese tray.  McDonald's is located across the street -- we made do with a couple orders of the Golden Arches finest fried potatoes.  The band was called Bible Belt Sinners - a rockabilly group with lots of personality and lyrics that really made you LOL.

Pre-party duel

All the kids loved jumping and crawling around Bob Cassilly's apple chairs. I think it would have made him happy.

     A couple of Hoopster fitness instructors were on hand to show off a new way to make exercise more fun.
Hoop Fit classes offered Thursdays @ 5:30 p.m. on the Shaw School lawn.  $5 drop in fee.

Bible Belt Sinners belting it out.

6/14/14 We had an exciting morning.  After many months of preparation, Edgar Road School can now boast to have not one, but two, Buddy Benches on its grounds. I learned about the concept back in December when I read this in the Huffington Post. Thankfully our principal and fearless leader, Dr. Retzlaff, agreed.

But how?

Serendipidiously, Mark Curtin, a former ERS student came to visit Dr. R and happened to mention he was seeking Eagle Scout status.

Hmmm...you don't say?

About the same time, I contacted my friend/Webster Groves Garden Club member, Sarah Whitney, to see if her group had any grants available.

They did.

And, our proposed project was completely in line with their group's mission.  It was truly wonderful because it offered an opportunity for the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts to work together.  While Mark  learned how to manage a team project and earned his wings, the girls devoted their time to learning all they could about gardening.  Under the direction of, Sarah, they examined the proposed Buddy Bench areas to decide which flowers would be best suited for the therapeutic gardens that would hug each bench.  They considered color, height and blooming seasons.  They selected lavender and lilac for their sweet smelling properties and velvety leaved lamb's ear along with butterfly bushes to attract a fluttery friend or two.

We even received a little press.  I hope it serves to inspire more Scouts to build Buddy Benches on playgrounds across the planet!

A heartfelt thank you goes out to the Webster Groves Garden Club without whom none of this would have been possible.  

And, I'm happy to report that the Buddy Bench movement has really gained momentum.  Today five other countries now have benches and there are more than 300 confirmed benches in more than 40 states! Christian's parents now have a website providing step by step instructions for other schools to attain a Buddy Bench. 

The Dirty Knees Club

That afternoon we headed out to Gray Summit, MO for Purina Farms Blue Grass Festival and Kids Country Carnival.   While we had been out there a few years ago for their annual Easter Village, the kids had no memory of the visit so everything was new again for them. We arrived just in time for the dog agility show but missed out on the opportunity to milk a cow.  After the show we listened to the band and enjoyed a snow cone.  Later we headed to the barn to visit a few furry friends.  We finished our tour with a tractor ride around the grounds.  Good times. 

This is one of my favorite cakes.  I love Charlie Houska's art - so bright and fun.

6/15/14  Happy Father's Day! My brother and I gathered our families to celebrate at our parent's house.  With our Dad's birthday on the 19th - we also observed his special day with cake, ice cream and an exchange of gifts.  Steve and I bought him a poker table topper and Brian taught us all to play Texas Hold 'Em.  It was a good time but we learned a few things. 1. Jack has no poker face. 2. If we had a farm...Natalie would risk losing it any chance she got!

Strength in Numbers

Five years ago...

We discovered Action for Autism St. Louis -- a newly formed organization dedicated to helping families like ours, affected by autism.  At the time Noah was in kindergarten and either melting down or shutting down nearly every day.  Initially I was nervous to meet with the founders to discuss Noah's challenges and our family's circumstances.  However, within the first few minutes of talking to AFA President, Brad Buechler and VP, Sheila Charlton, I felt my anxiety slip away. During that interview, I learned they not only talked the talk...but they walked it, too.  Two of Buechler's grandchildren are affected by autism. 

Five years ago...

Statistics showed that one in 110 children had an autism spectrum disorder.

Today...

Statistics show that one in 88 children have an autism spectrum disorder.

Today...

My family and I were among more than 250 people who came out to participate in Action for Autism's 5th Annual Family Fun Walk. Since 2009 we've enjoyed the tradition of having our picture taken next to the foot marker featuring Noah's sweet freckled face.  We look forward to devouring pancakes and a generous helping of egg casserole and fresh-squeezed orange juice, compliments of The Original Pancake House.  We celebrate how far Noah has come and with each step...we realize how grateful we are for this group of caring people. 

A special thank you to all of our family and friends who made a donation to Action for Autism.  This year you helped us raise $962!  So much good will come from your generosity.  We know...because we've experienced it firsthand.

A bit jealous at seeing Noah's face on the foot marker...Natalie asked, "When I grow up will I have austism?"

Way Cool Balloons enertained the kids with, well...you know -- way cool stuff.  

Know It All

Okay...I admit it.  I can be a bit of a "know it all".  But, in my defense, I always try to use my powers for good.  I love nothing more than to help a friend -- whether it's finding the best deals for "back to school" supplies, sharing where free family events are happening in our area or providing the name of a trustworthy plumber.  In fact, I actually enjoy coming up with creative solutions...for other people's problems.

So...your kid is 4 years old and will only poop while wearing a pull-up?  Have you tried having him/her wear one while sitting on the toilet (but don't let on that you've cut a hole in the bottom of their pull-up?)

So...you've forgotten to play tooth fairy and now your kid is a crying heap?  May I offer up some reasons for a tardy tooth fairy: perhaps her wing got tangled in a cobweb, or maybe she got caught in a rainstorm and can't fly with wet wings, or you've heard on the news that the price of glitter has skyrocketed -- forcing many fairies to use grasshoppers and dragonflies to complete their tooth missions.  But, those silly bugs can be so unreliable!

My bestest bud, who always follows recipes to the letter, calls me when her cupboards don't hold all the ingredients she needs.  I am a maven-at-making-do.  While another friend likes to challenge my party planning capabilities. A typical instant message from her on a Saturday morning, "Andrea - I have 15 family members in town for the weekend -- I need a plan!"

I love it!

What I don't love? Not having all the answers for my own dang problems.  Sometimes I'm such a hypocrite.  I tell my kids - if you don't ask for what you need, how can you expect others to help you? Sigh...I'm still a work in progress with this.

In the fall of 2008, I began a journey in asking for help from others. At the time, I was at an impasse -- I felt like I'd exhausted all of my resources in terms of books, teachers, therapists and what I could physically do for Noah. I was in a race, not only to reduce the gap between him and his peers, but also to close the emotional distance occurring in my marriage in part to the added stress. I was introduced to Action for Autism St. Louis, a not-for-profit organization created to help families fill in some of the gaps.  They offer financial support to families seeking therapies, summer camps and social skills classes not otherwise covered by insurance, but very much needed to address their children's developmental delays.

And, thanks to the generosity of people like you -- who have supported Action for Autism St. Louis and other charities like it -- children are thriving. Though Noah still has a long road ahead of him, his future and that of more than 200 children helped by Action for Autism, is also brighter.

On Saturday, August 24th, our family will be participating in Action for Autism's 5th Annual Family Fun Walk & Kid's Carnival to help give back to an organization that has given so much to us. If you are interested in joining us email me at andrea at therapyonwry dot com  Cost is $25 per person and includes a t-shirt and pancake breakfast compliments of The Pancake House.  Our family's fun walk goal is to raise $500 to help more children with developmental disabilities in our community.  If you would like to make a donation, message me or make a secure, online donation here.  Please put "Felgenhauer" in the comments section.

Thank you.

"We're finishers!" said Natalie
2012 AFA Family Fun Walk

Noah proudly shows off his medal
2011 AFA Family Fun Walk

Our family was chosen to help lead the walk.
2010 AFA Family Fun Walk

Stopping to give thanks and admire Noah's picture featured on one of the mile markers.
2009 AFA Family Fun Walk

My team...my family...my everything
2009 AFA Family Fun Walk

Last Night I Met An Angel

Last night I met an angel...from a little town just south of Chicago.

No, I wasn't dreaming.

No, she didn't have wings...that I could see, but I think it's just because she is the earthly-variety.

However, I know the signs when I see them.

An angel's hallmark is to drop in on your life when you least expect it, but need it most...when your night time worries begin to creep into your day time living...when you need a physical reminder...a nudge that you are not alone...that there are others who know your heart and want to help.

Her name is Amy Miles...like me, she is a mother to a son on the autism spectrum.

Amy is also an author whose self-published teen paranormal romance novels have quickly become best-selling books across the planet.  She recently made a pledge to earmark .50 cents from every sale of her book, Reckoning, the sequel to Forbidden, with a goal to raise $2,500 to purchase 5 iPADS to give away to children with autism.  She and her husband, Rick, partnered with Action for Autism St. Louis and I'm happy to say that our family was selected to receive an iPAD.

Their timing couldn't have been more perfect...maybe because it was a divine intervention.

It is my hope that their gift will help reduce Noah's struggles with schoolwork or at least boost his confidence.  He's a smart kid, but learning difficulties often deflate his self esteem.

Thank you Amy, Rick and Landon for dropping into our life at just the right time. And, a special thank you to all of Amy's fans who helped to make this possible.

To learn more about Amy and her wildly popular books, visit her website at www.amymilesbooks.com

Amy and her family traveled more than a 100 miles to hand deliver the iPADS to us.

Stand By Me

I know there are a lot of women out there who just LOVE their hairdresser, but my feelings for my stylist run deeper than the shampoo bowl.  I met Eraka…or should I say, “Hairaka” as Natalie calls her, when Noah was a preschooler and Natalie just a baby.  I was juggling work while managing Noah’s therapies and seizures along with Natalie’s growing eczema and ongoing sleep issues.  The last time I had given myself permission to enjoy a haircut was when I donated my hair to Locks of Love.  However, as I listened to woman after woman in our MOPS group not only rave about their new styles, but recount how much fun they had while in her hands – I thought, I want some of that.  When she enters a room, Eraka is a hard person to miss as she seems to radiate positive energy.  Her ready smile and infectious laughter is rivaled only by her willingness to give hugs to anyone in need of one.

During that first cut, I learned that while we look and carry ourselves very different on the outside, inside we share a lot of the same struggles and dreams.  Today, five years later, our friendship has grown beyond the commonalities of motherhood.  She’s my party-decorating-partner-in-crime, and like me, believes no social gathering is really good, unless costumes are involved.  Whenever I spend time with her, I always return home walking a little taller...more so than can be explained by hairspray alone.

(L-R) Barb, Eraka, me and Nancy at my surprise 40th - Eraka chose a cougar theme.

On 4^th of July, she messaged me to say she and the kids were having a lemonade stand and were going to donate all the profits to  Action for Autism St. Louis– an organization near and dear to our family’s heart as their support has helped us maintain Noah’s academic and social skills through his participation at Camp Happy Day.

Her kids were so enthusiastic and thought of everything...even name tags.  Below are the commercials they created and Eraka posted on her Facebook page to entice customers.

If you are in need of a new 'do.  Visit "Eraka Scissorhands" at Trim - A Hair Salon in Kirkwood, MO.
And, if you'd like to buy a "virtual cup" of lemonade. It will fill up your heart without affecting your waistband one bit.  Click here and type lemonade in the comments section.  

Whirlwind Weekend

Early Saturday morning our family participated in Action for Autism’s 4^th Annual Family Fun Walk. Though after dragging Noah for the better part of two of the three miles, I would have to say “fun” is open to interpretation.  On the upside, the pancake breakfast sponsored by The Original Pancake House was delicious.  And, Silly Jilly and Joe the Juggler were on hand to turn my kid’s frown upside down!    Thanks so much to all our friends and family members who sent in donations.  Your support is helping to make our child and many more very happy. 

"Mom, we're finishers!" cheered Natalie.

Juggler Joe juggled machetes and flaming torches sometimes while playing the harmonica!

Natalie ordered a bumble bee while Noah opted for an alien spaceship.

We are on week 2 of Camp Happy Day and so far so…GREAT!   Noah was happy to see some familiar faces in his group.  And, I’m thrilled with Camp Happy Day’s line-up for the summer.  Not only is Noah receiving weekly speech therapy, math and reading support, but Camp is once again providing him with twice weekly swim lessons.  Swimming is fun and serves as occupational therapy for him.  If you want to know more about Camp Happy Day for your child or if you are interested in volunteering next year, please visit their website here.

My sister, Renee, is in town from Colorado with her three kids.  Considering it's been a year since we last saw them, we've been trying to cram in as much cousin hang time as possible.  The first day they pulled in we had an impromptu water balloon fight.  Seriously, the best dollar I ever spent.  It came with 100 balloons and a doohickey to attach to your water spigot. Thank you Target! 

Hayden didn't see it coming...but he sure felt it!

Hayden gets hit with a good one from his sister, Olivia, while Ella gets more ammo.

With my sister and her family in town, we organized a belated birthday party for Noah.  On Sunday we gathered grandparents, siblings and cousins to join us at our community pool.  We ate pizza and homemade chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches.  Though, I also made a cake…as it didn’t seem to matter to Noah that I had already made him an R2D2 cake on his actual birthday (May 30^th)  He wanted R2D2 for his party.  So, I gave in…but I went easy on myself and used an R2D2 figure in place of one created from flour and sugar.  The bottom line -- he loved it anyway and was pleased with the result.  Phew.

R2D2 cake take 2 - yellow cake covered in chocolate ganache and  decorated with  chocolate buttercream

Checking out Noah's loot - Spy Gear that included a recording wire.  Great, just what a Mom needs.

Hayden takes a spin on the tire swing.

My beautiful SIL, Alicia and niece, Ella B.

"Just Jack" (with jazz hands) LURVED the slide.

 

Natalie gets a lift.

Miss O on the slide

Mr. Hamster

Ice cream sandwiches were a hit!

He loves his Mama!

Ella shows off her gymnastics skills

Hayden hot doggin' it on the diving board.

Dad putting his best face forward. 

Nat gives her Grandma Mary a squeeze.

Sunday also marked our 10th wedding anniversary.  But, with all the hoopla of entertaining guests, there wasn't much time for Steve and I to celebrate or even recognize this milestone.  Ten years is quite an accomplishment considering some of the roadblocks we've been up against over the years.  During the course of the day, though, we barely even spoke to each other as we were wrapped up in either taking care of the kids or acting as delightful hosts.  However, after it was all said and done and the kids were in bed and the party paraphernalia put away, Steve turned to me and said, "You make me want to be a better man."  And, so although Steve agrees that I am always right (or at least comes to that conclusion eventually) I think that in this case, I will concede and let him be right this time. When Steve throws out gems like that - it almost makes me forget about the times I want to put him (and the kids) in a headlock.   

Thank you God for blessing me with a loving and thoughtful husband and two, awesome kids.