A Personal Day

I need a personal shopper...for my kids.  However, this professional would also be required to take my kids along for the excursion and leave me at home to eat bonbons and finish Charlaine Harris' latest offering.  I rarely go shopping...except to the grocery store or when it's absolutely necessary to hold my mental state together.  And, I almost never tote my kids along; which explains why when I loaded them up in the car to mundanely shop at Kohl's for socks, underwear and shoes, they were completely enamored with the box store.  I knew enough of the chain's layout to park at the entrance nearest the shoe aisle. However, the moment Natalie's feet crossed the threshold, she announced she needed to go to the bathroom located on the opposite end of the store.  As we passed the models and endless displays, Natalie's inner shopper seemed to have awakened.  "Mom! Would you take me here on my bertday?  Look at those cute shoes!" she announced, as she pointed to a mannequin wearing stilettos.  "Look at all that jewelry!  It's so sparkly!" she squealed as she tugged my arm to point out nearly every item we passed.  

After visiting the facilities we headed back to shoes. They had a nice selection of Skecher's.  They even had the same z-strap shoe as Noah's current pair. However, no amount of cajoling on my part could convince Noah that he would be happy with shoes that didn't light up.

"But Charlie has light up ones!" he whined.

"In a size 5?" I countered.

Since I could not reach a middle ground with him, I decided to tackle the remaining items on our list. Upon arriving in the department of unmentionables, I discovered that Kohl's may offer discount prices, but they are ruthless with their marketing tactics.  They have all their toys arranged next to socks and skivvies.  So, while I searched for Noah's size, I listened to Natalie tell me how much she needed a $20 Monster High doll called Draculaura.  Sorry, my dear, but no 5 year old of mine needs a sexed up Barbie with glitter and fangs. Incredibly, Noah then shares that he needs to go to the bathroom.

"We just came from the bathroom.  Why didn't you go when Natalie went?"  I asked.

"You didn't tell me to go!" he answered.

While Noah shifted his weight from side to side, waiting for me to respond, I closed my eyes and counted to 10. As we trekked back over to the bathrooms, I decided I'd reached my own "Shop til you drop" threshold, only in my case, I had purchased nothing, but was ready to drop down on the floor and have a huge fit outside the Misses department.  And, I realized I don't need a personal shopper...just a personal day.  T-minus 29 days and counting til school resumes.  

Wipeout

Ever have a Friday that ends up feeling more like a Monday? 

Yesterday, I began the morning by burning the last two remaining slices of bacon for Noah's breakfast.  Yup, that's right, the kid who once only preferred Star Wars smells, now not only likes, but thanks God for processed pork during our dinnertime prayers.  Somehow I was able to convince him that it was just extra crispy.  After getting him off to camp, I was then left to deal with the rats nest of tangles that make a home atop Natalie's head every morning -- no matter how much conditioner, detangler and leave-in tonic I apply the night before.  I've been trying to convince her to cut her waist-length mane, but her reply is always the same, "No, I want to be like Tangled."  Indeed.  

Natalie's camp was meeting at our community pool, or so I thought.  We arrived to find the place deserted. Darn it.  

"Natalie, I thought you said they were meeting at the pool?"  

"Oh!  That's right.  We're meeting at camp.  Today is red day, I need to wear a red shirt," said the girl with a wardrobe of pink and purple.  

"Natalie, I don't think you own anything red." I replied.  

"I know!  I'll wear Noah's Cardinal shirt," announced Natalie. 

So, we drove back home, and got her changed into Noah's shirt and cinched it with a scrunchie so that she didn't look as though she were pant-less. We got back in the car and drove to the park.  Immediately I could see the place was packed with kids running around.  I started to breathe a sigh of relief, until I noticed that all of them were wearing swimsuits!  What the heck?  

"Natalie, I thought you said today was red day?"  

"Oh, wait!  That was Thursday!  The day I missed," she explained.  
 
When I couldn't find Natalie's group, I asked some of the kids milling about the playground what they had planned for the day.  I learned they were having a water play day and would be sliding down a big, hand-made slip n'slide. 

Fantastic.

Natalie and I once again got back into the car and drove home to change.  Talk about your deja vu! After helping her into her suit, we headed off once again to find her group.  We were told we would find them at the "big hill" next to the city center.  When we'd reached our final destination Natalie announced, "I'm a late mess!" My feelings exactly.  Thankfully, my boss was understanding and even with the morning's obstacle course of events, I was only 20 minutes late. Hmmm...maybe I should consider training for ABC's show, "Wipeout".

Musings from Natalie #6

Natalie burst into Noah's room yelling, "ROAR!," while wearing the mask she made at camp. 

"Hi, Natalie," Noah responded nonchalantly then returned his attention back to his LEGO's.

Disappointed, she asked, "How'd you know it was me?"

 

Natalie: "I had a plan last night, but it didn't work out so well."
Me: "Really?  What was your plan?"
Natalie: "Not to talk for a week."

"Noah is so cozy," she said.

Steve: "Natalie, if it starts thundering and lightning, the lifeguards are going to kick us out of the pool."
Natalie: "Will it hurt?"


Natalie: "Mom, all the counselors at camp call me cutie...I don't like it.  I want to be Monster High and that's not cute."
Me: "What does it mean to be Monster High...scary?"
Natalie: "Scary awesome."

(Note to self: No longer refer to Natalie as Tigerlily, Sugar or Cutie...just Scary Awesome.)

I Spy Something Cute

I admit it, there were times when Noah and I were knee-deep in therapy...listening therapy and brushing therapy and swinging therapy and systematic desensitization therapy that I began rethinking my dream to have two children.  I was overwhelmed by the marathon of to do's that needed to get accomplished and worried if I skipped just one I'd be jeopardizing his future success.  Noah was also chronically ill either from an ear infection or some other virus and we still didn't have a handle on when his next seizure would arrive.

Thank goodness I found a way to hand over some of my fears to God.  Less worrying and more praying led me to open my heart to a new friendships and to take the leap of expanding our family.

Yesterday I was reminded of the positive effect our "addition" has been for our family while Noah, Natalie and I were playing a game of "I Spy".  When it came to Natalie's turn she announced, "I spy something cute."  To which Noah replied in earnest, "I think it's me!" and then the two of them collapsed into a heap of giggles.

Although they argue and get on each other's nerves at times, no amount of therapy can replace the bond the two of them have forged.  They are each other's cheerleaders...and for that I am grateful.

Sounds Good to Me

On Saturday morning the kids and I scurried out of the house just before 8 a.m. in hopes of beating the heat and the crowds coming to see the brand new, $18 million, 1.5 acre, Sea Lion Sound exhibit at the St. Louis Zoo.  Yet, when I turned on my car, I noticed the thermostat read 102.  Oh well, I still had high hopes of arriving before the masses.  We secured a free spot outside The Living World and although I wanted to make a beeline for the new exhibit...the kids really wanted to take a stroll through the Children's Zoo, first.  I tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to hurry the kids as Noah petted guinea pigs and Natalie pretended to give a stuffed lion a haircut (Eraka would be so proud) in the make-believe vet center.  After saying hello to the pot-bellied pigs and Natalie had successfully squirted pink, "hamatizer" (hand sanitizer) all over her shirt, we rinsed off and headed over to welcome the sea lions back home.  It's hard to believe that they've been gone for two years while their new habitat was being constructed.

As we walked over, I tried to explain to them how cool the new exhibit would be...that they would have the opportunity to walk through a tunnel.  I shared that there would be water all around them and that we'd get a unique view of the sea lions as they swam.  But, when we reached the entrance Natalie suddenly looked quite pensive as she asked, "Mommy, would you hold my hand?  Because I'm afraid I'll get washed away."

We're Jammin

You can't be married to someone for 10 years and not have them do or say things that make you want to put them in a headlock...while other times you're reminded just why you said, "I do."

Steve and I were brought up very differently.  I grew up in the burbs and spent Saturdays at the ice rink or hanging out with girlfriends at the mall; whereas my husband spent most of his childhood either knee deep in a "crick" or 20 feet high in a tree-stand.  I love to dance and miss twirling at Casa Loma Ballroom or rockin to the beat at a club.  On the other hand, my guy would rather have all his teeth pulled out without anesthesia.  Sometimes he and I even speak a different language.  Instead of mine and yours, Steve says mine and your'ins and he regularly uses colorful phrases like, "It's hotter than a cowboy's 45 on a Saturday night" or "If you're gonna be a bear -- be a grizzly."  When I'm feeling overwhelmed by a problem, he's the one to remind me, "Remember...how do you eat an elephant?"

So, although my husband prefers to give our lawn a mullet over a traditional crew cut and the job of repainting our bathroom (Mother's Day gift circa 2008) is only 80% complete and we've been living with a "phantom flush" for years, he is also the one who ensures that the checkbook is balanced and I have gas in my tank.  And, he's first to notice when I'm low on chocolate and regularly replenishes my stash.  On late evenings before I can finish saying,"I'm hungry, but there's nothing good in the fridge."  He's already putting on his shoes and asking,"What do you want?" 

Which explains why this past Saturday (his first one off in weeks) he chose to rise before dawn to spend part of it baking under the sweltering heat to pick berries...for me.  He set off with a three gallon bucket and a desire to fill it so as to have enough fruit to make a couple batches of jam and a big ol' cobbler. Three hours later, he returned home looking like he'd wrestled with a clowder of cats.  He had cuts, scratches and thorns all over his hands and knuckles and up and down his arms.  His shirt and pants were heavily snagged from dealing with the tangle of thorns that cover each and every berry branch. He was a mess, but was wearing his lopsided grin.  And, although I've not been around many swine, I think he really was "happier than a pig in poop" when he presented me with his booty -- nearly two gallons of blackberries.

He and I went on to spend a couple hours together washing and mashing berries and preparing our mason jars for jam.  So, although you won't find Steve and I cuttin' a rug together, for one afternoon we were for all intents and purposes...jammin.

Get a Dream...Get a Job...Get Me Outta Here!

Where would I be without the library's fantastic summer line-up of live entertainment, craft sessions and movie showings?  I tell you where I'd be...I'd be baking my head in the triple digit, St. Louis heat at some park because my two Tasmanian Devils have too much energy and we have too little house for them to run around in.  On Thursday, my reprieve from the scorching heat was all thanks to Juggling Jeff.  The Tesson Ferry Branch invited him to not only entertain, but encourage and teach kids how to make their dreams come true.  He got the crowd fired up by inviting the pint-sized bunch to share their dreams.  And, while some had lofty dreams of becoming an opera singer or a race car driver -- none of them came close to the altitude of Natalie's aspiration of becoming a bird when she grows up.  She shared her feather fantasy with me on the car ride over and was very disappointed to learn that the closest she would come to flying would be in an airplane.  

During his show, Juggling Jeff took the kids on a journey of reaching their dreams by following a few easy steps.  First, he challenged them to get a really big dream and then position it deep in their heart. This involved the kids reaching their hands into the air and seemingly grabbing their dreams with their bare hands and then purposefully stuffing them deep into their chests.  His antics were met with wild enthusiasm from the audience of youngsters as reflected by their ear-bleeding squeals. 

Juggling Jeff used his dream of becoming a professional juggler as the model and shared that one of the first things he did was study and learn everything he could about juggling. The next steps involved practicing and finding a team of experts to help you accomplish your dream.  At this point Natalie turned to me and whispered,"Will you be on my team?"

"Of course," I replied. However, to myself I thought I better figure out how best to channel her creative energy or I'm going to end up with a kid who works at fast food joint sporting a chicken suit.

Juggling Jeff 

And, while Juggling Jeff began the show juggling tennis balls the size of beach balls, as he continued through the dream-reaching steps of focus and persistence, his tricks became more difficult.  His grand finale involved him getting out of a strait jacket while staying atop a large, spinning yoga ball.

As soon as the show ended Natalie grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the bookshelves.  "Mom!  Let’s go get some books right now and find out what I’m going to grow up to be!" she exclaimed.

On the car ride home I asked the kids,"What’s your dream?" As you can imagine, I received two very different responses.  

Me: "What’s your dream?"
Noah: "Nothing.  I didn’t dream anything last night."
Me: "No.  What do you want to be?"
Noah: "I just want to be myself."
Me: "No.  What do you want to do when you grow up?"
Noah: "Nothing.  I don’t want a job. When we get home can I just play this Sonic video game I checked out?"

Me: "What’s your dream?"
Natalie: "I want to be EVERYTHING!"

This was followed by "Mom, can I study this when I get home?" she asked while holding up the companion CD to the "DK Eyewitness Evolution" book she had checked out. 

"Sure," I responded.

As I fumbled with the door carrying a load of books into the house, Natalie asked, "Mom can I be a lot of people and have a lot of jobs --like a zookeeper and a lab scientist and an ocean helper?"  Before I could even answer she was already headed to her room with an armful of books and said, "OK, mom, I’m going in my room to study now," as she closed her door behind her.  

A few minutes later she emerged wearing a pink satin dancer dress with a notepad and pencil in her hands and said, "Mom, I can't draw a dancer.  I need to draw what I see on the T.V. so that I don’t forget what I learn,"  However, since I couldn't draw fast enough, she decided it would be better if she just took photos of the T.V. screen while she had "Adventures with Dance" playing in the DVD player.

A short while after Natalie announced, "Mom, I wanna be in a show,”

"What a coincidence," I stated. "Because Daddy and I just signed you up for drama camp, today actually," I continued.

"What’s drama camp?" she inquired.

"Remember how you told me you wanted to be an actor?  At drama camp you'll learn how to perform for an audience.  You'll also learn about set design and how to make costumes," I explained.

“I want to be in charge,” she responded.

"Oh, then you want to be a director.  But, before you can be a director and tell everyone what to do you have to learn and understand how all the parts of the show work," I stated.  Uncharacteristically she did not respond.  She just gave me a smirk and then turned on her heel and headed off to her room to continue watching her dance video.

Dear God:
Stop jokin' around.